Tough Love Notes From The Meyers This Valentine’s



“The average man doesn’t pray, Lord give me someone I can help. 

The average man prays, Lord, give me someone that can help me. ”  



That moment when I realised that my definition of love wasn’t so “Christian” after all….

Yes, I’ve always known that Love isn’t a feeling. And that Love and Sex should never be equated to mean the same. But the one lesson that took a while to become heart knowledge was that Love doesn’t start and end with me. It starts and ends with everyone else, but me.

I’ll explain…

Ladies can relate I’m sure, but whenever a guy starts “setting p” (slang for flirting), my automatic response was to analyze him according to the Almighty list. Does he meet the criteria? Does he like the kind of things I like to do? Would he help me fulfil my purpose? Would he be a good father to my kids?

A lot of me, my and I in the mix, right?

It is also something guys can relate to, the shoe being on the other foot, because for some reason we have been wired to think this way, through the world and sadly, some well-meaning movies, books, relationship seminars, church programmes, etc.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that having a list is a bad thing. But when Love only involves what the other person is bringing to the table, with little forethought to what you’re bringing too, then there is a problem.



Love is an act of servitude to Man

“For God so loved the world that He gave…” – John 3:16

In the Bible, we see that Love always points to service of some kind, to adding value. For example, the 1 Corinthians 13 Love is presented as something that involves actions on our part with barely any reference to what the other person is doing or how he or she acts.

Also, Christ’s sacrifice for us, and Paul’s admonition to wives and husbands all point to a Love that is acted out for someone’s benefit. With these in mind, we can say that Love involves some sort of investment, the kind that is interested in helping to bring out the very best in the other person.

“I am committed to helping you grow and reaching your fullest potential.”

“I am committed to putting up with your flaws (that are not detrimental to my personal wellbeing!) because I see past them.”

“I want to serve you. How can I be of service?”

More from The Love Series: MAKING LOVE WORK


Love is an act of servitude to God

“… All things were created through him and for him.” – Colossians 1:16

The world’s form of love stirs up jealousy, anger and a bunch of other emotions because it’s not based on God’s rules or aligned to His desires for us. This is why we end up falling for the wrong person or falling at the wrong time, ending up with broken hearts, relationships and marriages.

Love is smarter than that. It gets us to ask for His advice on the whos, the whats and the whens because the why is settled – it’s all for Him in the first place.

In Joyce Meyer’s love story (featured above), her husband Dave actually prayed that God would send him someone who needed a lot of work. Dave was a blessing in her life, through Gods grace, that has made her who she is today, a blessing to many.

Everything we do, the things we say and the people we connect with, they all should have a place in the Master’s grand plan, or they’d have been a waste of our resources.


Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it – because it does.
1 Corinthians 14:1 MSG


(Originally published on on February 8, 2016)


Photo credit: Rhemaworld Radio

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